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Friday, 2 November 2012

Do you have a hard time sleeping when your are stressed?


Wow can you believe that it is November all ready?   I am still awake tonight, it is 3:30 am and I am trying to get some work done on my household binder since I am unable to sleep.

I experience a lot of anxiety and today it just wasn't a good day.  Stress crept up and bit me all day. 

I suffer from depression and have since I was 7 years old.  When I get excited, nervous or afraid, my stress level skyrockets, like I am sure most of you do as well.  Tomorrow will be a long day for me. 

First thing in the morning I need to get up and tidy the dining room as I am having a meeting at 10:30.  This meeting was scheduled for last week but they cancelled the day of.  The worst part is that this meeting in my home will consist of 5 of us.  To give you a little back history, I have a PSW come into my home to help me twice a week.  So I have a meeting with all the agencies involved to deal with a few things that have been a bother to us about the service in the last few months.

The agency would change the times that the PSW's were coming to my home almost every week.  Now you ask , what is bad about that? LOL Well they kind of didn't tell me ever.  So I would sit here and wait, and wait, and sometimes I waited 5 hours.    With my health and all the doctors that I have to see, its very hard for me to schedule anything on days that the PSW comes cause I never know when they are coming.   Also I am of the mind that if I am sure to be ready and early for my appointments (showing respect to others), then I should be respected for my time as well.  I feel totally disrespected as if I have no life at all and am free to wait around all day for them to show up whenever.  Issue 1

**Note:  I just wanted to add to the paragraph above, that I understand things come up and people are late.  But I feel a patient's time is just as important as the Dr's. etc.** 

Also the second last time I had a review with the agency that sends my PSW out, she said something like this (paraphrasing), "You are too young to be on service, we will have to try and get you off within the next 6 months."  Now I know I have not talked much about my illnesses, but none of them will improve.  Each has 'will deteriorate' on my disability forms.  Also, one of the standards in the book they give you it says they will not discriminate based on race, age, etc. etc.  That really upset me.  Of course I would love to be off service but that is not realistic.

Anyway that is my morning for tomorrow, so am nervous about the outcome.  But the exciting part is that tomorrow I will finally be getting my hair cut.  Not just a trim , but quite a few inches.  It is almost at my tailbone.  I have picked a lovely medium cut, and a color and foil.  I haven't had short hair in many many many years, but due to my health I just cannot look after it anymore.

Also lets add the stress of G not having worked in almost a year.  Add a temporary stint at one employers for 2 months, but it wasn't a good fit.  We have basically been living due to family helping out.  I will be forever grateful for all the help we have received in the last year.  It's super stressful, I never know where we are going to get the money to pay this bill and that bill.  This week has been super long cause we are waiting for one company to give him an offer. 

Have I told you that I hate 'waiting' LOL.  I am not the most patient person in the world.  I also am not fond of surprises.  Yeah I know… boring lol. 

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I finally fell asleep halfway through writing this post.  It was actually written yesterday Nov.1, but due to the busy day I had, I never got the opportunity to finish and post this.  I will be writing a post tomorrow about my day today and the results of the meeting and hair.  

What strategies do you use to calm down when you have had 'one of those days'?  Do you use meditation techniques at night to let yourself mellow out and sleep well?  

1 comments:

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